Let's talk supplementing.
What I mean by supplementing is the act of introducing formula to your exclusively breastfed/pumped baby.
First of all let's get one thing straight, supplementing is totally fine, it's totally healthy and normal and no Mom should ever feel guilty about having to supplement. There are women out there that have more of a milk supply than others. Some that have an easier time bringing in their milk than others. Moms who have more time to stick to a schedule when it comes to pumping and feeding and so on.
First- I applaud those women who are able to exclusively breastfeed and or pump in general but especially those who are able to do so for the baby's first full year.
I had to go back to work after we had our
daughter when she was three and a half months old. And so I was pumping three times at work and then I would also pump at least once overnight. I was able to keep up with my supply for a while plus I did have a ton of frozen storage.
One thing to know about your frozen storage is that you think that there's a lot there when you're staring at it in your freezer, however frozen storage actually goes really really fast especially if you're breastfeeding for the first time you truly just do not realize it (at least that was the case for me.)
During normal times and when I gave birth to Raeya, I actually travel a decent amount for work. My supply started to go down a lot because even though I would pump on the go, pump in the airport, pump (or at least attempted) at events and between meetings- I just couldn't stay on the same routine and unfortunately my supply went down a lot.
So much to the point that I couldn't really keep up with creating enough milk so this way I can have our daughter remain exclusively on breastmilk. What I had to do was start supplementing some formula into her routine. Instead of sending maybe four bottles of breastmilk to daycare, I would send three bottles of breastmilk and one formula. There would actually be more bottles of formula as we were going through that frozen supply quickly. What ended up happening is that by the time she was around nine to ten 10 months old, she was on formula for the whole day and I would breastfeed her right in the morning when she woke up and right before she went to sleep. This ended up being a great routine for us because we were still able to bond and I didn't have the headache of having to pump anymore. She was totally fine and totally healthy having both breastmilk and formula.
Let's talk about the guilt.
When my supply started going down, I was extremely frustrated because exclusively breastfeeding and pumping for our daughter was something that I had wanted to do and I was passionate about it. So when my supply started to go down, I was really unable to keep up with making bottles. I was upset and you know what? I cried a lot and was disappointed in myself. I kept asking "what on earth did I do wrong?"
Maybe after a month of realizing that my supply was down and that my frozen storage was not going to be able to take Raeya through the year, I called my friend who was breastfeeding as well. I said, "Listen, I've got to ask you something if you don't mind sharing it with me. Did you end up having to supplement?" She paused and replied, "Of course I had to!" That reaction made me feel immediately better. She is a full-time working mom too so the fact that she supplemented as well and said, "This is not a big deal. You gotta do, what you gotta do you", made me feel better. It helped so much to have another mom, who's also around my age going through the same thing as me. You know how people say build the village around you? Well she was just the very start of my mama village. Two years and another baby later, I am proud to say that the village I have surrounded myself with is full of amazing friends, families, parents and so on.
My key takeaways for anyone reading this are:
Breastfeeding is an amazing thing that women are able to do for their babies and if you have your mindset on doing so, you should be so very proud of yourself.
Formula feeding is OK. How you choose to feed your baby is your choice, not the hospital's or anyone else's.
If you find yourself in a position where you have to supplement, it's OK. Know that just like anu type of change, there is a transition period for your baby.
Mom guilt is real. Don't hide, share your feelings with a friend.
Build your village. Trust me, it's worth it.
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